Today I am tried as heck.....

Hello all who are following. Today I am so very tired, I had another sleepless night, thanks to good old schizophrenia.  I have sleeping medication, however, I am trying to avoid taking them due to the severity of the headaches the meds bring on.  I have had some sleep, about an hour, so not completely sleepless, just mostly :).  I am experiencing a few symptoms, cognitive mostly, thought processing and the like.  I also am having some paranoia currently, which is of no particular origin, just general paranoia.  The lack of sleep can really have effects on the illness, so those of you who are reading this who live with or know someone with schizophrenia, get your sleep!!!  I am 37 years old, and I live with Paranoid Schizophrenia.  I have been hospitalized several times, which was not any fun at all.  It took quite some time to get the right medicines to work for me, I must say, however, overall my progress has been very good.  I have decided that I will share my life with schizophrenia with all of you because there are millions of people who are affected by this disease and may be looking for a good place to get information , as well as foolow the life of a schizophrenic.  I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed of the fact that I am disabled by this illness, I feel empowered by it because it has given me the opportunity to reach out and share (and help) others who are suffering and living with the disease.  I know that I am forever changed because of my schizophrenia, and I am okay now with that.  It is a daily, and I mean daily struggle for me, but I do the bestthat I can every day to be the best I can be.  Due to the limitations schizophrenia causes, I am no longer able to work and I am also dependent on my medication to help subdue the symptoms, though there is always something that goes on that affects my daily living.  I need a routine, settled life, with little stress to cope with my disorder.  I have supportive parents, however, they have their own health issues and do not really understand what schizophrenia is all about.  So, I have had to do a lot of research on my own, and happily so, as my dream is to be in the mental health field professionally, however, I am aware that I may not be able to do so for a myriad of reasons.  Yet, I still persevere.  I cannot tell you enough how strenuous this life can be, it has changed me completely.  I am the same person, of course, however, the disease has changed me in many ways.  I have memory deficits, memory storage issues, panic attacks, paranoia, and also have anxiety at a very high level.  Thank goodness there are medications that help me through this, as this illness is bigger than anything I have ever understood.  I do also know that it is an illness that people are afraid of, weary of, and tense over when they hear about it or find out they have it.  Having schizophrenia does not mean that people should stay away from us, it is just that there is a better understanding needed of the actual illness and its effects on the schizophrenic and those that surround him/her.  It is often disabling, and left untreated, which is quite commonplace unfortunately, its damage is devastating.  So, I am going to do my best here to help those who need help in understanding, those who need companionship in this, and those who genuinely want to know about schizophrenia.  Since I am no computer wizard, nor am I a walking encyclopedia, I use multiple resources to compile my information, as well as my own personal account of living with the disease, and I relay this information to you.  I hope that this blog (and you know I do not particularly like the word blog, it is more than that, it is a...well, I will think of  the word soon...memory issues :) ), will help you all understand schizophrenia and life with schizophrenia.  Thank you for reading The Schizophrenia Daily, it is an important work for me and I hope it becomes part of your daily routine as well..... With genuine sincerity, Erica