Thursday: A Perfect Day to work on some research....I hope

Good day all... It is 4:57am, I woke up a little later than my usual 3ish, but am happy to have had the proverbial 8 hours sleep last night.  Thanks to Temazepam, a sleep aid that was prescribed to me by my psychiatrist.  It does seem to cause wicked headaches, and also some drowsiness, so folks that are on this medication, those are the symptoms I am experiencing most with this sleep aid.  Nonetheless, I slept.  Thank goodness.  Sleep deprivation is quite common among schizophrenics.  I have had trouble sleeping, my sleep pattern has been disrupted over the years, and I attibute much of it to my living with schizophrenia.  The weather outside is quite freezing, and I have no intention to go outside, other than to take my mother to get her blood drawn, which is not too far.  So, I will have to take a shower (UGH, as much as I like to be clean, the shower really annoys me) and get ready for this arctic blast of cold outside.  I should do well taking her there, as I have done before.  As many of you may or may not know, I have a Social Phobia when it comes to going outside, (except when I am shopping) and being around others, but I am working on that with my therapist.  I am able to drive, and also able to do many things that some schizophrenics cannot do.  I manage what I have to.  I force myself to take at least one class at the local college, just to stay familiar with the world outside.  I also love going to the local Barnes and Noble, and can look at books for hours.  Otherwise, I take a few classes online, and with diligence and the assistance of medication and therapy, I am able to concentrate on my studies.  I have found it to be quite a difficult task, you see, some of the cognitive symptoms of schizophrenia mimic those of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), a disorder I was diagnosed with many years ago.  I do take medication for that as well, which, oddly enough, assists in some of the symptoms of my paranoid schizophrenia.  I already am experiencing anxiety about going out today.  This is the hard part, the anticipation.  On the other hand, surprises cause me to go into a tailspin.  I have and need a regular, calm schedule to function at my best.  The anxiety I experience is highly stressful, and I am learning to cope, not only with medication, but with positive self-talk, working through the anxiety by analyzation of its causation, and of course by being prepared.  So I will shower as soon as I am finished with today's blog.  Then I will be dressed and ready, easing the anxiety.  I have switched to decaffeinated coffee, as I have found this ramps up anxiety levels when using regular coffee.  It is not so easy, as I have been a coffee drinker for a long, long time.  But, it will be something I will get used to.  Another issue is smoking.  I read in a study (several, actually) that 90-95% of people with schizophrenia smoke.   It has something to do with the chemicals in the brain.  I will elaborate on this at another time. My intention for the day is to continue to do some research on...you guessed it mental illness.  I also intend to write some more of my book as well, which is about schizophrenia.  Symptoms manageable today, so far, so good.  I want anyone reading this that has schizophrenia, knows someone who does, or wants to know more about schizophrenia, to feel free to contact me via email, or post something here or my other site, listed above.  It is my dream and intention to help those afflicted with mental illness.  I am working towrds that dream.  Incase I forget, I wish everyone a happy holiday season.  This time of year can be quite stressful for me, and for many others afflicted with mental illness as well.  My advice is to just take things day by day, have a schedule of your daily activities or events, if any, and make sure you address any concerns with your psychiatrist or therapist or case manager.  Until tomorrow, Erica:))