Dec.24th... Christmas Eve.... Symptom Flare-ups abound!

Greetings all, and Happy Holidays to all of those who are celebrating..... Well, it is the day before Christmas... Last minute shopping, dinner preparations, family visits....it can be hectic.  At this time of the year, I tend to have symptom flare-ups.  My anxiety abounds and I have been stressed over preparations for the family.  I have also had some relationship issues, which added to my anxiety levels...You know, family stuff.  Often times, family members and others do not understand what life is like having Paranoid Schizophrenia, or other mental disorders for that matter, and do not realize the internal stress and anxiety that appears in those afflicted with these illnesses.  This can cause great stress, especially around the holiday season, because often times, our emotions are not on the same level as those who are family or friends, who are not afflicted with this illness or others.  That is when I hear the "just be happy", "smile a little bit", and there is a tendency for family to get annoyed that I don't seem happy and jovial.  One of the symptoms if schizophrenia is blunting of emotions, so though we may really feel happy about something, we do not necessarily show it, or express it, and sometimes we don't feel those emotions.  This is difficult to deal with.  As a person with schizophrenia, I can tell you that this causes great distress for me, and also, old memories seem to resurface, making it even more complicated.  That is why I keep it simple.  I do not attend holiday parties, nor do I have masses of people over for the holidays.  It is too much for me.  I need to have consistency, order, and a routine.  anything that breaks this routine makes it difficult for me to process, and I am often misunderstood.  I am sure other schizophrenic's can relate to this.  With all of that being said, I am hopeful for a calm, stress-free holiday season.  I am making sure I contiinue using my coping skills, and always have my councelor's number handy incase I have a stressful situation.  Also, I have made sure that my family understands, or at least is aware, that I have soome issues during this time.  I am looking upward, of course, not focusing on the negative's, not focusing on the stress, and managing my anxiety.  I wish everyone a happy holiday season.