New Years Eve.... We celebrate in our own way...well, most of us do!

SO, Today is the big day...well, the BIG NIGHT, actually...New Years\'s Eve!  2010 is right around the corner, actually, at the time I am writing this, Australia is 1 hour and 45 miinutes away from the BIG MOMENT.  Here in the earstern United States, we are 17 hours and 14 minutes away from 2010!  Either way, all around the world, celebrations abound for this grand event that has become customary in most countries all around the world.  Parties, alcohol, dancing, music, hats, and horn-blowers.... all of the things that go along with this big night.  For those of us with schizophrenia, however, this night can be overwhelming...Not because it will be 2010 (although for some it may be), but because many of us living with this illness do not take part in these festivities.  Believe me, there are many of us who wish we could, and many of us who are lonely at this time.  Why?  Well, for starters, generally speaking, many of us with schizophrenia have a hard time with crowds and parties. Not only that, many of us have a hard time finding friends in the first place, and many do not want to, or are just plain unable to. Social phobias are a BIG deal when it comes to schizophrenia for many people.  Anxieties run high, memories may flood in of the year (especially if someone has had a particularly difficult year), alcohol is not something that is advisable when on medication, and, well, many of us do not want to leave our homes.  Obviously, not every schizophrenic has this/these issues, however, the general consensus I have received from fellow schizophrenics is, "I am staying home tonight".  This is how I feel.  For starters, I do not want to go into a crowded place by myself, subjected to an abundance of alcohol, and the noise...well, I just can't take the noise level.  Not to mention I was not invited anywhere, though if I were, I would not be attending, and would kindly decline the invitation. No, for me, I will be ringing in the New Year most likely at 5 or 6 a.m., 2010. I usually do not sleep later than 9p.m., occasionally a little later, but because of the routine I have set for myself and need to properly function, I require this much needed sleep, not to mention that the medication tends to make me sleepy.  regardless of this fact, New Year's Eve to me is difficult because previous to becoming stuck with schizophrenia, I used to love this night.  Getting all dressed up, going out to a function, or a bar, possibly a house party.  I enjoyed stying up late, mingling with folks, and just having a "good time".  Nowadays, it is quite different for me. I stay at home, have missed the famous New York City "Ball -Dropping" for several years now, and, well basically, I am set to my routine and get nervous even thinking of deviating from it.  Maybe this year, I will be able to see the ball drop, but it will be in my living room, with my mother, who lives with me.  My father is out of town for the grand event, as he still loves the "Big Night".  For me, however, I am happy to have my cup of coffee, decaffeinated of course, well, maybe I will have some caffeine tonight....woohoo! I will be happy to be reading, watching something on the science channel, or even an old movie.  I am sure I will try to catch some of the festivities on television, should I make it that long.  Point being, New Year's Eve is just different for me, and yes, I am happy to start off a new year, and also hope my progress continues as it has been this 2009.  As I reflect, mildly, on the past year, I am thankful for my stability, my treatment plan, and my continuing progress living wioth schizophrenia.  Tonight, I will be so happy to know, I am at home, doors locked, and without the pressure to socialize, as this is difficult at best for me.  I hope that as you share in this night of renewal, you keep in mind that living with schizophrenia does not stop because of holidays.  If you feel more comfortable at home, then do so. Do not put yourself in a situation that can increase symptoms, create stress or harm.  If you happen to be lonely, remember, you are not the only one who feels lonely at this time of the year, and although it is not easy, it WILL be okay.  Tomorrow will be 2010, Jan.1st , and we should all be thankful to be here on this great mother Earth, and grateful we are living.  Schizophrenic or not, I wish all a safe, happy, healthy, prosperous, hospital-free year and may all of your dreams come true in this new year. If you do drink, DO NOT drive. If you drive, DO NOT drink. And most of all, have a great NEW YEAR!!!!!!